Nickelodeon’s Short Films: The Saga Continues

Screen Shot 2017-09-21 at 8.24.09 PM

Three more films in the “Short Films by Short People” series have aired on the Splat and been uploaded to Youtube, so here’s more of my episode guide! I mean, how can you go wrong with a singing piranha, a talking eyeball, and crudely animated cgi sloths?

Read More

Advertisements

De-BOOK-le: The Paperbackening

Welcome to a brand-new feature on our blog, exploring the endlessly bizarre world of paperback horror books. They’re always trashy, always flashy, and often hilarious.

IMG_0701

“MONSTER”

Joel: I feel like a sasquatch love story should have a more distinctive title than “Monster.”

Roxie: Clearly this tagline is trying to invoke “King Kong,” but if there’s one thing we need less than tacky taglines, it’s another version of “King Kong!”

Joel: I thought it was trying to play off of “Music tamed the savage beast,” like in the old Warner Bros. cartoons. Like, maybe she plays toccatas for him? Or maybe he does. The reflective sunset suggests he’s working on a concerto and sipping wine while pining for his lost love.

Roxie: He remembers the soft caress of her lovely arms, as he rammed them down his gullet and ate her.

Read More

More Podcasting

Hey, as you know, we now have a podcast like all the other cool kids. Well, Joel and Chris have one, “Go Home in a Box,” but I do sit in on occasion. Check out the rest of the episodes so far here:

“Caveat Emptor” (guest starring Roxie) http://www.retromovienerd.com/2017/04/go-home-in-box-episode-3-caveat-emptor.html

“Revenge is a dish best served with a blunt object” http://www.retromovienerd.com/2017/04/go-home-in-box-episode-4-revenge-is.html

“In the name of science, this can’t be good”

http://www.retromovienerd.com/2017/05/go-home-in-box-episode-5-in-name-of.html

The Most Misguided PSAs

hqdefault

It seems like PSAs have always been more about beating you over the head with a message than actually informing or serving the public. Whether it’s somehow comparing your brain to an egg, or trying to scare the bejeezus out of you with a puppet that looks like Lou Reed (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQhFQJ4deNQ) they usually end up raising more questions than they answer. Here’s a rundown of some PSAs that I’ve always found to be bizarre, confusing, and poorly suited to whatever point they were trying to make- usually because they try to shoehorn in something that will appeal to kids.

Read More

10 Cloverfield Lane Guesses: NO SPOILERS HERE

mary-elizabeth-10-cloverfield-lane-banner

Well, I don’t want to say too much, but I was surprised at what I got right, and what I got wrong. I will say more after Joel sees the film, but it came together in a very unexpected way, like I walked through a cornfield and to passing aircraft, my trail left behind the visible pattern of a happy face. A happy face I never saw.

Or something. But hey, no first person shaky cam! Thank god!

-Roxie