Nickelodeon’s Short Films: The Saga Continues

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Three more films in the “Short Films by Short People” series have aired on the Splat and been uploaded to Youtube, so here’s more of my episode guide! I mean, how can you go wrong with a singing piranha, a talking eyeball, and crudely animated cgi sloths?

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De-BOOK-le: The Paperbackening

Welcome to a brand-new feature on our blog, exploring the endlessly bizarre world of paperback horror books. They’re always trashy, always flashy, and often hilarious.

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“MONSTER”

Joel: I feel like a sasquatch love story should have a more distinctive title than “Monster.”

Roxie: Clearly this tagline is trying to invoke “King Kong,” but if there’s one thing we need less than tacky taglines, it’s another version of “King Kong!”

Joel: I thought it was trying to play off of “Music tamed the savage beast,” like in the old Warner Bros. cartoons. Like, maybe she plays toccatas for him? Or maybe he does. The reflective sunset suggests he’s working on a concerto and sipping wine while pining for his lost love.

Roxie: He remembers the soft caress of her lovely arms, as he rammed them down his gullet and ate her.

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Razor Candy Reviews: Hudson Horror Show XV

Mortals: if you haven’t been to a Hudson Horror Show, let the recriminations commence! Geography is no excuse. Sickness? Merely your neglected will asserting its place in your frail, sniveling body. As a kindness, here are the films you missed at Hudson Horror Show XV. Thanks are owed to our friends at HHS for putting on the event, to Empire South Hills 8 for renting out two screens, to the vendors for reserving space, and to Jordan at the B-Movie Film Vault for sponsoring the print of The Hidden.

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More Podcasting

Hey, as you know, we now have a podcast like all the other cool kids. Well, Joel and Chris have one, “Go Home in a Box,” but I do sit in on occasion. Check out the rest of the episodes so far here:

“Caveat Emptor” (guest starring Roxie) http://www.retromovienerd.com/2017/04/go-home-in-box-episode-3-caveat-emptor.html

“Revenge is a dish best served with a blunt object” http://www.retromovienerd.com/2017/04/go-home-in-box-episode-4-revenge-is.html

“In the name of science, this can’t be good”

http://www.retromovienerd.com/2017/05/go-home-in-box-episode-5-in-name-of.html